We Exist: Terri Louise Ó Leathlobhair

Tell us about you!

For someone with BPD identity is not an easy thing to figure out. I'm Bisexual. Pro Choice. Equalist. Unwilling Loner. Chronic Spoonie. Untapped Potential.

Terri Louise Ó Leathlobhair

When did you first know you were bi+?

I knew I was bi before I knew what bi was. My first childhood crush was on a neighbourhood girl. It wasn't until secondary school that I heard someone identify as bisexual. I knew then what I was and that I didn't seem to be alone. Except bisexuality wasn't as advertised. The people that had brought me my awakening had also brought me my shame by telling me that bi didn't mean you actually liked boys and girls it meant you were gay but just not ready to say it. I knew that wasn't me so back to square one I went.

Are you out as a bi+ person?

For all intents and purposes I am out. Outwardly very proudly but with a lot of internal shame. Both my public and private coming out experiences where traumatic and not initiated by me and it has hindered how I express myself within my own family. I am trying to mention it a little more, let everybody know its not a phase. Positive responses so far.

When have you felt the most accepted as a bi+ person? The least accepted?

I'll do both in the same story.
Years ago after a terrible public outing. A gay 'friend' had decided he was going to take matters into his own hands by 'helping me really come out' he told everyone that would listen, even people I didn't know that I was a lesbian. I was already being bullied at the time. I tried to stand up for myself. I tried to combat the rumours with the truth. Turns out 'she's bisexual' wasn't as snappy a line as 'she's gay'. The bullying to my horror tried to spread to my younger sister by text but as usual she was having none of anyones bullshit. She got a text saying 'Your sisters diseased' to which she replied 'no she's not, she's bisexual' to this day she doesn't know just how validated that made me feel.

...to this day she doesn't know just how validated that made me feel.

What is something no one asks you about being bi+ that you wish they would, and what would you want to tell them?

How does it feel? How does it feel to be erased under the guise of priviledge? How does society impact you as a bisexual woman? What can we do to make it easier?

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