We Exist: Sharon Nolan

Tell us about you!

Queer, femme and bi as fuck! I'm a passionate feminist and activist, and enjoy getting stuck into campaigns locally and nationally to try and help make our little country a better place. I also play games and work in my spare time.

When did you first know you were bi+?

During my teenage years I realised I was attracted to women, and without any knowledge or representation of bi+ people I assumed I was gay and panicked. The label 'gay' didn't feel right as an identity for me, and initially I couldn't put my finger on exactly why - but then I later realised I was still attracted to men, and in time I learnt that it was perfectly okay. It took some internal adjusting and acceptance that being attracted to people of different genders was okay, and then started coming out to people when I moved away for college.

Sharon Nolan

I want to help build spaces and understanding for our bi+ community, where we're not erased or reduced to a joke. ​

I grew up in rural Ireland and as a teen I'd have loved to have a safe space to be myself and discuss my sexuality with peers, but I never had that. This experience immediately drew me to the advocacy side of our LGBT+ community when I did find them, so I threw myself into being involved in LGBT+ spaces in college. Sadly, these spaces were where I experienced some of the worst biphobia of my life... but it empowered me to try and stay involved and change these experiences for others. I want to help build spaces and understanding for our bi+ community, where we're not erased or reduced to a joke. This journey led me to becoming involved with Bi+ Ireland, which is honestly one of the best decisions of my life!

Are you out as a bi+ person?

I'm out everyone I believe (or as much as you can be in a hetronomative world I guess) but it definitely was a process that took years. With being bi and in a relationship, there's always a process of repeated coming out as so many people assume you're gay or straight depending on your partner's gender.

Some people took it better than others over the years, but I've come to accept that (mostly). I love nerding out on all things gender and sexuality which leads me to doing a lot of reading and research on the topics - but not everyone shares that passion and can be unsettled when people don't fit their black and white worldview.

I've a small tattoo on my wrist, a heart in the bi colours. The naysayers out there consider bisexuality to be a phase, and tattoos to be regretful - so what better way to give the middle finger to them all with a bi+ tattoo! It's a little reminder I carry everywhere to remind myself that nobody has the ability to erase my identity or who I am.

Nobody has the ability to erase my identity or who I am.

When have you felt the most accepted as a bi+ person? The least accepted?

Nothing should be about us without us.

Most accepted? During our Bi+ Ireland events. Be it a meetup with just a few people, marching in Pride, monthly meetings with the other coordinators, my heart sings when I'm with my fellow community members.

Least Accepted? During the marriage referendum. It was pretty harrowing to be so personally affected by an issue I was campaigning for, but also completely erased from the campaign. I was actively involved with leafleting and canvassing - but with the campaign style it lead to people assuming I was gay and that only gay people were affected by marriage equality. The bi and trans erasure during that campaign was extremely frustrating, nothing should be about us without us - and even challenging the erasure within our LGBT+ community was tough.

What is something no one asks you about being bi+ that you wish they would, and what would you want to tell them?

The one thing I wished I was asked is from gay-centric spaces and "LGBT" organisations. It's "How could we do better to include bi+ people?" There is so much progress with the gay and trans movements that has me beaming with pride, but I'm tired of bi+ people being marginalised in the majority of LGBT+ spaces. We need to do better.