We Exist: Alan Kenneally

Tell us about you!

Bisexual cis male

When did you first know you were bi+?

When I was about 11 or 12 and hormones kicked in. In a time before the internet it was a lonely time in small town Ireland. I remember sitting between my parents watching a romantic scene on TV. Awkward enough to be sitting between your folks at that age, never mind feeling attraction to both genders.

Are you out as a bi+ person?

I am now. Or more accurately, I was, then I wasn't and now I am again. It's much easier now that I am more accepting of myself. I didn't for a long time and that wounded me deeply.

Alan Kenneally

When have you felt the most accepted as a bi+ person? The least accepted?

The most accepted was when I came out to my parents second time around and to my siblings shortly afterward. Their very Irish "So what?/Yeah, grand" was exactly what I needed when I needed it.

I felt least accepted at 18 in college. I called a LGB helpline and was ran out of credit. I was standing outside their office and the guy I had just spoken to opened the door, told me I wasn't gay enough and slammed the door in my face.

It still hurts sometimes. Last year on a visit to the Cork Gay Project I told Dave Roache about this and gave him all the info I had on this organisation. I still remember the shock on his face. By his own admission for what little comfort it offered, he told me this organisation no longer exists and then he gave me the contact info for bi+ Ireland. It's been onward and upward since.

...when I came out to my parents second time around and to my siblings shortly afterward. Their very Irish "So what?/Yeah, grand" was exactly what I needed when I needed it.

What is something no one asks you about being bi+ that you wish they would, and what would you want to tell them?

I understand people's desire to be curious and to educate themselves and sometimes questions come across as more awkward than intended.
Sometimes I'd Just like someone to ask if I'm OK?
It gives me the chance to access some support if I need it. So I can share a good or a bad experience and improve my day.

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Editor note: The above mentioned group is not the National LGBT Helpline, which is a group we have close ties with, but a smaller defunct regional group.