We Exist: Anonymous

Tell us about you!

When did you first know you were bi+?

I am a cisgender bisexual woman with a history of mental illness.

I have known I was bi for as long as I can remember, I thought that everyone was and that just nobody spoke about it! ​

Are you out as a bi+ person?

I am out to my college friends and have been out to all of my partners, essentially anyone who I would feel comfortable talking about my sex life with. I know that being bi+ is about so much more than sex but in a funny way it feels like when you come out people perceive it as being about just that. I think that has been a major barrier it terms of me coming out at work and to family. ​

When have you felt the most accepted as a bi+ person? The least accepted?

I have felt super accepted by my friendship group. I was the first of my friends to come out as bi and quite a number of them ended up coming out as non-monosexual over the years. I like to think that my openness has played some small role and allowing them to think about their own sexuality in a way they may not have before. After I came out to my current partner and explained bisexuality he came to identify as bisexual himself! It has been really wonderful for me to have a bisexual partner who understands.

When I first became involved in the LGBT community I frequently felt overlooked. When the group was being addressed I found myself piping in with "and bisexuals" a lot.
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I have found that in some female LBTQ spaces the narrative has been lesbian dominated and not inclusive of those who were attracted to genders other than female. 

"It has been really wonderful for me to have a bisexual partner who understands."

What is something no one asks you about being bi+ that you wish they would, and what would you want to tell them?

I wish I was asked more about the good side of being bisexual. There are many wonderful things. I love that I am never limited by anyone's gender. I feel so at home in the amazing new bisexual community that is emerging. I love how being attracted to more than one gender makes you really question and challenge gender roles and hetero-normative aspects of relationships and really work towards creating your own framework for what works for you and your partner(s).