We Exist: Michelle Hoey

Tell us about you!

Art student, coffee addict, agus i ngrá leis an Gaeilge. I'm just a kid from rural Donegal with big dreams and a personality to match!

When did you first know you were bi+?

My first crush was on a girl when I was very young, and I very quickly erased it from my head. At that age I had seen it as 'wrong', and since I was a girl, I was only allowed to like boys, right? Moving to secondary school, I was extremely lucky to be surrounded by friends who were so open with their sexuality at a young age, and they really unknowingly helped me discover who I was. It wasn't until the marriage referendum that I had admitted to myself that I was bisexual.

Are you out as a bi+ person?

Michelle Hoey

I'm out to the people I know are accepting of my bisexuality! When I moved to Galway for college I found it so easy to be who I was without ridicule. Since everyone was a stranger, I didn't have to have the whole coming out speech prepared, bisexuality was just a part of who I was!

Back at home wasn't difficult, and most of my close friends were already out as gay or bisexual. While it took me a good year to build up the courage to tell my mother, I'm so lucky that she's so open minded and had no problems at all about my sexuality. We even make lighthearted jokes about it!

​I'm so privileged to live in a generation that is so open minded about the LGBTQ+ community, and very lucky to have had few problems regarding my bisexuality.

...bisexuality was just a part of who I was!

When have you felt the most accepted as a bi+ person? The least accepted?

I wouldn't be out to a lot of the older people that I know at home. But with people my age being so open minded, I hope future generations won't have the same problem!

The most accepted I've felt was definitely marching in the 2016 Galway Pride Parade. Back at home there are no groups or resources for the LGBTQ+ community, so to walk with hundreds of people who were just like me while singing along to Britney Spears together was definitely such a great moment for me. It's been the only time I've been completely comfortable with my sexuality.

The feel the least accepted back at home in Donegal. A lot of the older generation would be homophobic, and I keep my mouth shut about my sexuality when they rant on about how they disagree with gay marriage or how being anything other than straight is 'wrong'. I wouldn't be out to a lot of the older people that I know at home. But with people my age being so open minded, I hope future generations won't have the same problem!

What is something no one asks you about being bi+ that you wish they would, and what would you want to tell them?

It's not just a phase! Being in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex does not mean you're straight, and being in a relationship with someone of the same sex does not mean you're gay. A lot of people seem to forget that.