We Exist: Jon Hanna

Tell us about you!

Bisexual, Irish, cis, white, male, pagan, witch, parent, kinky, pro-choice AF, occasional depressive, rape survivor, of a working-class Northern Irish upbringing.

When did you first know you were bi+?

I realised I was bisexual during puberty, finding myself attracted to boys and men around the same time in early adolescence I found myself attracted to girls and women (knowledge of other genders didn't come until later). I had some knowledge of issues around LGBT liberation before then, and did consider that maybe I was projecting those politics, but I soon realised that when I mooned over River Phoenix that talking about politics wasn’t top of my list of things I would like to do with him. (Though it was still up there; in hindsight my teenage romantic fantasies had a certain earnest quality).

Jon Hanna

Are you out as a bi+ person?

I came out toward the end of my time in grammar school, first to someone who I thought might be bisexual too (who came out to me pretty much simultaneously), and then to others I trusted. Soon I was quite assertively out there, even if still not out at home.

I took going to college as an opportunity to be fully out, and was active in the LGB (now LGBTQ+) society, leading it during the second year of my studies. Since then I’ve been pretty thoroughly out in just about every context and circumstance including at work, in professional organisations, to my kids, and so on. How I’m perceived is another matter though, and people will almost always assume you are monosexual. When I was younger I was sometimes read as gay, and now I’m almost always read as straight, either way an assumption that isn’t correct.

When have you felt the most accepted as a bi+ person? The least accepted?

Most of all when among other bi+ people. Bi+ Ireland itself would be a prime example, and the last three years at Pride when I’ve marched with them have had much more of a sense of belonging than the first Prides I went to in the 1990s. But there have been other times in my life when I’ve been in groups where several of us where out as bi+ and it was just part of the norm of that group.

Circles that might sometimes be considered “alternative” like the kink scene and the pagan community can often be among the most accepting groups, but they can also be among the least so, too; being deemed as outside of the mainstream can often encourage acceptance but also lead some to exclude those who are outside of that perceived mainstream in more ways than one.

Biphobia within the LGBTQ+ community can be all the more alienating

Least accepted in a rather blatant sense during physical attack, as I’ve had eggs thrown at me while doing LGBTQ+ work in college and had people try to beat me up more than once around the same time in my life.

Biphobia within the LGBTQ+ community can be all the more alienating though, as well as being more clearly biphobia when less accompanied with or parcel of homophobia from the majority community. The LGBTQ+ community is after all something we are meant to be part of, and a community so many of us have worked to serve, but still we find biphobia ranging from the subtle and plausibly deniable through to demanding outright that we should be silent so we don’t “complicate the message” during the fight for marital equality.

What is something no one asks you about being bi+ that you wish they would, and what would you want to tell them?

Whether we feel we might have a different perspective on some of the assumptions cissexist-heterosexist society expects us to make, because just sometimes we can do; not to an extent that gives us any sort of get-out-conditioning-free card, but enough to make different contradictions stand out

But mostly I’d say that we are not only diverse but where we find ourselves rubbing up against expectation will make us hesitant to deny that diversity, and that is when we as a community are at our best. Whether or not I might match some stereotype isn’t the point. Maybe I do, but another bi+ sibling does not. Maybe I do not, but another bi+ sibling does. Do not ask me to deny them in order to define me.

Do not ask me to deny them in order to define me.