Tell us about you!
Are you out as a bi+ person?
I came out toward the end of my time in grammar school, first to someone who I thought might be bisexual too (who came out to me pretty much simultaneously), and then to others I trusted. Soon I was quite assertively out there, even if still not out at home.
I took going to college as an opportunity to be fully out, and was active in the LGB (now LGBTQ+) society, leading it during the second year of my studies. Since then I’ve been pretty thoroughly out in just about every context and circumstance including at work, in professional organisations, to my kids, and so on. How I’m perceived is another matter though, and people will almost always assume you are monosexual. When I was younger I was sometimes read as gay, and now I’m almost always read as straight, either way an assumption that isn’t correct.
When have you felt the most accepted as a bi+ person? The least accepted?
Most of all when among other bi+ people. Bi+ Ireland itself would be a prime example, and the last three years at Pride when I’ve marched with them have had much more of a sense of belonging than the first Prides I went to in the 1990s. But there have been other times in my life when I’ve been in groups where several of us where out as bi+ and it was just part of the norm of that group.
Circles that might sometimes be considered “alternative” like the kink scene and the pagan community can often be among the most accepting groups, but they can also be among the least so, too; being deemed as outside of the mainstream can often encourage acceptance but also lead some to exclude those who are outside of that perceived mainstream in more ways than one.
What is something no one asks you about being bi+ that you wish they would, and what would you want to tell them?
Whether we feel we might have a different perspective on some of the assumptions cissexist-heterosexist society expects us to make, because just sometimes we can do; not to an extent that gives us any sort of get-out-conditioning-free card, but enough to make different contradictions stand out